Chapter 47 D.B. Left L.B.


D.B. left L.B. when I was two years old, it was about a day before my second birthday because of her drinking and fighting and alleged cheating. D.B. could not stand her drinking and he had done everything in his power to try and control her behavior and stop her from drinking. He thought that if he left that she would get the message and stop but it did not work. 




After D.B. left L.B. just drank more due to the heartache, she may also have been being poisoned by him and not realized it, I do not know as she will not talk to me about anything from back then. But after what I have seen him do to me and what he confessed to I would not be surprised if he poisoned her to put her into physical pain to feed into her addiction as poisoning puts a person into an enormous amount of physical pain and she was also in a great deal of emotional pain. She did not have the proper tools to manage the pain, or the will to overcome her addiction and change her lifestyle. She also did not have the financial backing to get away from D.B. and his cronies.  These things have all been explained to me many, many, many times from D.B. except for the part about the poison.

L.B. alleged multiple times that she could not keep me because she could not afford to keep me, she also alleged that D.B. refused to pay child support. I know that this statement is factual as D.B. had been made by the court to pay back child support for many years after he had obtained custody of me. The child support did not go to L.B. it went to the state for the food stamps that she got and possibly for medical care that I received. I was ten or so year old before D.B.’s back child support payments were paid in full. This infuriated D.B. as he was angry that he was being forced by the state to pay for a kid he said he did not want in the first place.

The abuse from L.B. was beyond description, I was beaten daily, she was drunk every day. I slept on barstools, and often times I was starving. I ate mayonnaise sandwiches, and even asked the secretary at school for food because I was hungry. I was thin, and my tummy was distended. My hair was all the way down to my butt and I had to move it when I went to the bathroom. She pulled my hair all the time, and hit me with the brush and used to say “it hurts to be beautiful”.  She had men in the house all the time and would not let me watch T.V. only soaps. The people around me all drank to, and none of them were nice. They come from an alcoholic and drug addicted family and they are all the same way.

By the time D.B. obtained custody of me I was elated. I did not want to be around L.B. anymore because she was so hateful and mean to me and always blaming me and hitting me for things she had done. She could not control her hatefulness and anger and had no patience for a child. There is no excuse for her behavior. When I asked her why she hated me so much she did not say she did not hate me she said because your father left me. She resented me because of D.B. leaving her and still does.

L.B. and all my other family members have called me names like useless, retarded, stupid, and L.B. used to throw me in the garbage can in the kitchen. D.B. alleged that this was symbolism and that symbolism had been used on me my entire life as a tool to abuse me. In life she threw me away for alcohol and a partying lifestyle. This hurt me very deeply and used to bother me all the time, I could never understand why she was the way that she was but I do now.

Chapter 48