Chapter 59 Psychogenic Amnesia, Shock, Brain Trauma, Hard Resetting


D.B. alleged this is a type of amnesia that he perfected in giving to me is called psychogenic amnesia, where the brain shelves the memory as it can not be computed. 


The criminals in this ordeal find different ways to cause shock, telling you bad things the did, doing bad things to you that confuse or intimidate you, poison you in an “in your face” style, and even participate in molesting and sexually assaulting you. Lyeing to you so that you will not believe any of the other things that were said, calling you gullible, treating you like a dim bulb, filling you full of worries and anxiety about other things that are going on that they are purposefully causing anything to keep your mind busy and off of what you saw, experienced, or might of heard that an get the caught up if you tell about it. 


The problem with it is that any sort of trigger can cause the memory’s to return at any given moment, it could be words people use, going back to the location, seeing a door that is a certain color, a song on the radio, a piece of clothing, anything, even a smell or someones voice that is similar to a voice that was heard when the amnesia was inflicted. So they meaning A.E.V., D.M., E.M.M., L.Chorn. and others who he got to help either knowingly or unknowingly kept shocking me by inflicting different abuses on me which not only keeps the memory’s buried but also keeps your mind on other things, they have done this by raping me, sex trafficking me, and by abusing me in poisoning me, stealing things, and verbal infliction as well as physical infliction including causing a boxers kind of head injury, and by using usual forms of conditioning and witness intimation practices.


D.B. did not want me to tell anything about this to anyone and called it a vulnerability, D.B. thinks love and trust is a vulnerability. Having cash or lack of cash are vulnerability’s, lack of a car is a vulnerability, lack of house is a vulnerability, sickness is a vulnerability, fear is a vulnerability and anger can be a vulnerability. Friendships or lack of Friendships can be a vulnerability, Family or lack of good Family members is a vulnerability,  lack of food or any resources you need to survive on like water or even soda, drugs, alcohol and even prescription drugs needed for your health are vulnerabilities, even your kids and love for your kids are a vulnerability, these are all things that can be used by other people to exploit you harm you and that other people view as weaknesses. These things can be used by other people to exert power and control over you, and to harm or kill you directly or indirectly.

These things can be used against you to push you to suicide or put you in dangerous situations you can’t get out of without accepting a strangers help and there is risk that too. This is what is used to keep people tied to their attackers, and held prisoner to them, and gives them an opening, to use you and abuse you, and as he put it ultimately kill you for money without you realizing it or anyone else realizing it unless they were forewarned about it like he did and I was.

These things are not being recognized by the outside world and usually are not recognized by investigators just like I did not recognize them, because to the outside world the person that is exploiting these kinds of vulnerabilities does not look like or act like a killer trying to kill or get rich quick, or take advantage of you or keep you in a bad spot. To the outside world they look like they are helping the victim.  In the event of your death they look like a concerned loving friend or family member and care taker but really they aren’t. 


D.B. said if I told what happened and why I could not remember he would have me put into a psych ward and no one would let me have my girls back because of it.  D.B. did not want anyone not even the authorities to know, he did not want anyone to know how he had kept me quiet about his crimes or about the abuse of me nor the sexual assaults. There is no way to explain everything if I leave this out or the sex crimes and abuse out, as in order to understand what exactly they have done and how, as well as what the girls and I have been put through and what they do to harm each other everyone needs all the information including my daughters.

It’s not lies, its not drug induced coma’s or drunken stupors or the excited ramblings of a sex addict or freak, these people are organized crime members and have almost perfected a methodology to rape, kill and exert power and control over other persons.  Harming other people inside and outside their families and they have almost perfected a methodology on how to keep their victims quiet about it.

This is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. This is a big part of how my life was stolen, especially the past nine years after the poisoning of me and after i went and told police, had I had full access to my memories I could of shared my serial killing heritage with them and maybe then I could of restarted my life from scratch the instead of having to go through hell to recover them and it has been hell. I also lost the last  last three and a half  years and counting of my life with my daughters, that should of been spent raising them and teaching them and loving them, and time keeps going by. D.B. and the others including the authority’s keep stealing my life with not doing their jobs and as a result are stealing my life and my time and it needs to stop. 


D.B. also alleged that during one of my surgery’s I had died and that he had caused it to happen and that he believed that when a person dies it tends to wipe the memory clean like resetting a hard drive on a computer. When you come back to life, if you come back, a lot of your memories from the past can be lost NEVER to be recovered, that way. D.B. alleged I died twice, once during surgery and once because E.M.M. held a rag over my face after a telephone call with D.B. which I remember E.M.M. walking up to me and doing something to my face but nothing after that. 


D.B. also alleged that he had E.M.M. used cans of aerosol spray sprayed onto rags and placed on my face to damage my brain, cause breathing difficulties and damage to my lungs body and brain so I would never remember. D.B. also alleged that the criminals including himself had self inflicted this to themselves to forget what they had done so they could pass lie detector tests more easily and so they could seem more believable when questioned. I have caught E.M.M. holding a rag over my face while asleep, and found empty spray cans in my house with fluid and no air in them and called E.M.M. out on it in my audio evidence. He attempted to blame it on the girls who were not huffing and to young to of been huffing and could not of put thumb print dents in the top of curved spray cans. 

D.B. did not want me to remember the body I found in Palos Hills Il., nor any of the conversations that took place between him and I or between C.B.B.G.G. and I, nor the abuse from the past. It has taken me quite awhile but I believe I have made a full recovery and regained enough of my memories including the law, to move forward confidently.


D.B. had made allegations during our last call that he was going to keep saying that I did not have enough of my memories back, and was not going to let me continue forward until he was satisfied that I did. He was going to claim that I was hiding something or was still missing memories to try and prolong the inevitable, keeping himself and everyone else free longer as the more he says I am missing memories the longer I remain a victim to him and the other criminals, and the longer it takes me to move forward. 



I did not believe in amnesia of any kind, I thought people who said they had amnesia or who other people said that someone else had amnesia was not true and were acting except in accident or victims of accidents but its a real thing and its very scary when you figure out that it has happened to you and can be done to you so easily. D.B. told me to manage it when a person scares me or something bad happens to sit and make a short video about the day and then watch the video the next day to remind me. The only problem is a lot of days nothing happens and a lot of times I don’t get that long. I can be told something like “there is a baby’s head stuck in the wall”, walk up the stairs starting to cry and by the time I get to my chair in the office and sit down it is already shelved. Then when I start to remember the memory, or it comes back to me I have to think on it a lot to be sure and it makes me feel the pain of the memory all over again and then I have to work though that pain just like it just happened to me today. Working though the pain usually involves dealing with the pain that is caused by feeling bad for the victim or for what ever the abuse was that was inflicted and I handle that with what I refer to as spell work which is really healing work and involves the symbolic use of pictures and objects to unload the emotional baggage that stems from the memory. there is more on spell-work and photos and video of it will be added to the site so you can see it has nothing to do with witchcraft or worshiping demons only with releasing bad memories and feelings. 


This form of Amnesia is a very scary thing to have and to accept once you understand that it has happened. It makes you feel more vulnerable and has even kept me in dangerous situations longer than it should of because D.B. said he did not want me to be alone and that I had to be chaperoned everywhere I went because of it. D.B. had initially intended to have R.A.B. “go with me to the top” when this was all over because he was my brother and should of been able to of been trusted, he was good as a child and it looked like he was going to stay that way. D.B. told him that he needed to stay out of trouble and keep his nose clean which means stay out of trouble and don’t become an addict. At some point R.A.B. changed his position and turned on me instead. R.A.B. is both my stepbrother and my cousin by blood, and had banked blood for me to be used in the birth of M.R.M. and was supposed to be on my side and one of my protectors but he is not he is defiantly one of E.M.M.’s and C.P.S.B.S.B. and is an assailant which I told L.S.P.D.

D.B. said its because his “other family” meaning the S. side, had purchased polices on my life in 2004, and 2006 and he was angry that I lived during the births of M.R.M. & M.L.M. as apparently a lot of people were as they were hoping I would die and were looking for a payout. 

D.B. told me to stay away from my brother, and alleged he killed S.B.L. who was D.B.’s & J.E.B.’s stepmother and the mother of their half brother Ri.B when they were living in Florida by hitting her car tires with a mallet to break the bands inside the tire causing a blowout. D.B. alleged she made it through an blowout the first time but did not make it the second. I was dating D.J.S. and he had a similar problem with his brand new tires after it was parked outside my house. 

D.B. alleged that R.A.B. had been involved in crimes with E.M.M. and was not my friend and only intended to inflict or try to inflict the amnesia on me by raping me and insulting me with sexual insults and innuendo’s which he did not rape me but had attacked me with sexual comments and disgusting things and false claims made by way of text. He also sent me a photo of his penis and I kept asking him what was wrong with him and why he was saying what he was saying and behaving the way that he was behaving. 

Additionally, A.J.V.M. had reported to doctors she had been molested by R.A.B. in her medical documentation and as a result he could no longer be trusted around me or any one else of a female origin.

D.B. stated he had never been so disappointed in someone in his entire life as he was in R.A.B. for ruining his own future getting himself involved in criminal activity. When A.J.V.M. was home I told her I needed R.A.B. to take me somewhere as I had no one else to ask, and she said she did not want to be there because of him but understood where i was coming from he never showed up anyway just like he did not care when I needed to get my CIPRO medication for a kidney infection.