Chapter 63 C.P.S.B.S.B. RETURNS TO D.B. & MY LIFE

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When I was in eighth grade C.P.S.B.S.B. came back into our lives by meeting me up at school and introducing me to my little brother J.Bu. who is D.B.’s biological son. He was three years old. C.P.S.B.S.B.  said she wanted me to know my brother and used him as a tool to get back together with D.B. Introducing him to me first before she spoke with D.B. about getting back together. 



There was an episode when C.P.S.B.S.B.  picked me up from school when I was supposed to go to my friend Beth’s house for a Halloween party or to prepare for a Halloween Party that we were working on together. C.P.S.B.S.B.  insisted that I get in the truck and go with her to her mother’s house where I did not want to go, and did not have permission to be at. While at her mother’s house I was extremely uncomfortable and asked that D.B. be called. I do not remember how I got home but I think I walked the tracks home. At that time, I was way past what D.B. called my “Boundaries” I was only supposed to up to Austin Ave unless I had permission to go to Central to see T. S. who became T.M.S.M. had specific boundaries set up for me and we discussed those boundaries and I was not to go past those boundaries unless I was accompanied with someone else which usually had to be an adult.

Sometimes I used to go what I called exploring on my bike, I would ride around to see different houses. I spent a lot of time alone and was bored a lot.

D.B. was upset that C.P.S.B.S.B.  had taken me to her parent’s house and told me that it was abduct ping as he did not say she could pick me up and take me anywhere and I was not where I was supposed to be which was at B.D.’s house preparing for our Halloween Party. But I guess he let it go, not long after he broke up with her again because he said she had cheated on him with a man she brought home from a bar. Which made me infuriated because she hurt him, she also nearly smacked my face I just do not remember if it was because I refused to get into the car with her because I was supposed to go to Beth’s or if was because I stuck up for D.B. when she cheated.  



The summer between eighth grade and high school C.P.S.B.S.B.  called and asked both me and D.B. if it was okay if I went to stay in Westmont to babysit A.D. R.A.B. and J.A.B. I used to smoke cigarettes which D.B. said he did not know. She offered me fifty dollars a week and I wanted smoke money so I agreed she also said they had a swimming pool so it sounded easy. D.B. said I could go and within a week he was there every day with me. She used me and J. to get D.B. to be involved with her and D.B. has said this to me and others a million times. Calling himself a sucker and saying he should have sucker written across his forehead for falling for it.

The deal was that I could go home on the weekend and be with my friends. I was never paid one time for watching the boys. Since D.B. came to stay with me, it was assumed that it was my job to do it. I was told that I was a kid and was to do what they said I had to regardless of what I was told prior.



D.B. decided to marry C.P.S.B.S.B.  that summer and when he did, I did not go as I was not in agreement with them getting married at all. Instead I went to a block party and at that block party I was attacked from behind by a girl who I did not really know. I have no idea why she attacked me but I took one swing and broke the girl’s nose. Blood was everywhere. I told S.K. I had broken a girl nose and headed home and told my grandmother not to open the door for anyone no matter who it was.

A bunch of the girl’s friends decided they were going to attack me because of what had happened and they were out on the front lawn some had bats in their hands. I did not go out there and I don’t remember what happened. I just know they went away. They were the Garfield Ridge Kids and recently I saw one in the LCJ she was in there for some Coke related charge.

These kids used to start fights with me when I was up at the park for no reason at all. I do not even know their names or who they are or why they would start with me. I would sometimes be there alone and sometimes I would go up there to protect M.K. who is S.K.’s little brother that is mentally handicapped.

 1990 – 1991


I went to Downers Grove High School for Freshman year. During that year I started to date C.J.M. At first D.B. was not that upset that C.J.B. was older than me he was 17 and I was 14. We dated for five and a half months then C.J.M. turned 18. D.B. decided that I could not date C.J.M. anymore because he was too old. He and C.P.S.B.S.B.  started beating me because I refused to break up with him. He even got a tattoo on his leg with my name and birthday on it because he wanted to marry me.

I was upset though when I saw the tattoo because I had no choice things were so bad at home that I had to break up with him. He was not happy; I do not think he understood. But I do think he might have known about the Wiccan Circle because he had my jean jacket and when I got it back it had the words “sexual vampires” were drawn on it by him. I wore the jacket to school and I think it was his way of telling other people to stay away from me and calling them Sexual Vampires. We had two sets of bunk-beds and I listened to music to stay calm and distress myself I also learned to draw from C.J.M.




Setting Me up to Make Me Break Up with C.J.M.

& Having A. W.V.  Date, Me Under False Pretenses.

When I broke up with C.J.M., I started to date D.B.’s friend J.W.’s son A.W. I did not have sex with A.W. but D.B. accused me of having sex with him and a lot of other people I did not have sex with as well. D.B. alleged that he set me up with A.W. and suggested that I go out with him instead. I did not know at the time what D.B. was up to but soon found that A.W. was mean and hateful toward me and taking away my self-esteem. He simply was not for me and the relationship dwindled before it really started. D.B. accused me of having sex with A.W. but that is untrue, he did try but we never got that far.



When I was living with C.P.S.B.S.B.  and the boys C.P.S.B.S.B.  was severely abusive of me and the boys, accusing me of things I did not do, and telling D.B. all kinds of things, barking orders at us all, hitting the boys with shoes, taking their money that they earned etc. I started to run away and get into trouble in school. I got into a fight and nearly put a girl’s head through a glass trophy case. I ran away that day because I knew I was going to get beat when I got home.

I was also very skinny I weighed 105lbs and had gone from a size 9 or 10 down to a 5 extremely quickly and without trying. The food was always locked up in the cupboard and C.P.S.B.S.B.  rarely cooked when she did cook, I could not eat what she cooked. We had dogs and there were dog feces all over everything. The apartment we left was destroyed. She thought A.D. and I were her slaves and expected us to do thirty loads of laundry at a time and it never got any better.

When we were living in Westmont D.B. was standing by the kitchen table and I heard him say “What am I going to do? A. is not going to believe that anyone loves her after or because of this.”

 1990 – 1992


J.A.B. was very young and he and I were close, I loved him very much. I took care of him and R.A.B. and I gave the boys baths and made them supper and did the dishes read them books and played with them as much as I could. I exercised a pretend ghost from the bathroom because they said they were too scared to take a bath, but I was also a 14-year-old kid and had my own things I wanted to do. I shared a room with them, all four of us in one bedroom.

J.A.B. used to pee his pants sometimes especially during the night little kids sometimes do that. I did not want the adults to see so I would get him cleaned up and hide his clothing and his blankets for him. He also used to climb in bed with me to sleep for comfort.

 1990 -1992


R.A.B. used to love me more than anything he would jump on me like a monkey when I walked in the door from my grandmother’s house where I used to go on the weekends just about every weekend.

We moved from Westmont because D.B. is racist and said he did not like me hanging around the African American kids including my friend E.S. who I also used to spar with. E.S., went to the army and called me once at my grandmother’s later on and I was very proud of her.



D.B. wanted to be sure I stayed away from C.J.M. so we became homeless for a while. He opened up a door and window store called Powerhouse Doors and Windows in Midlothian and I was transferred to Bremen School and I made many friends quickly there as we were all financially in the same boat.


We lived in Lagrange at C.P.S.B.S.B. ’s friend Judy’s house and while we were there C.P.S.B.S.B.  and Judy gave me a perm and D.B. alleged that they purposefully fried my hair and made me looked like a poodle. I believe they did, after having my hair color stripped, being scalped, being made fat with prednisone, and losing my hair in clumps after taking a shower that it was done to me on purpose. C.P.S.B.S.B.  would go to the store as well and pick out and by my clothing for me and she bought me jeans that did not fit, shirts with vests attached to them and all kinds of funky patterns that no one else was wearing and she knew I would not wear, I would not want to wear and would not fit me right she made me look like a fool so I would get teased at school.